Dangers of a Victim Mentality and How to Take Responsibility
Dangers of the Victim Mentality and How to Take Responsibility
Quick! Stop what you are doing and answer this simple question. Are you a victim? Yes or no?
How long did it take you to respond? Did you have to think about your answer?
It may be a yes or no question but many people aren’t quite sure. They may say to themselves, “what does that mean” or “how am I supposed to know?”
On the other hand, some individuals immediately know their answer and are quick to say, “No!” Those that can easily and confidently say “No! I am not a victim” are individuals who exhibit a specific mentality that is typically associated with mental strength and adaptability. Their mentality is one that takes responsibility for their choices, their actions and their experiences in life.
Responsible For Our Mentality
Taking responsibility for one’s choices requires an individual to recognize that they have a choice in the first place. Attitude, effort and our response to life’s successes and failures are all things that we can actively choose. Independent of how we make our choices is the fact that in sport, and in life, we have the ability to choose.
We rarely get to choose the opponent, or the practice plan, or the assignments we are given at work or school. But, we can choose our attitude toward those events and responsibilities. We can’t always control what other people say or do but we can choose who we spend our time with and how we will respond to their words and actions.
Choosing Our Mentality
Choosing our response to the behavior of those around us is part of taking responsibility for our own words and actions. Those that say things like, “S/He made me ____” or “But s/he did ____” are not taking responsibility for their actions. They are shifting their responsibility onto another person, event, or circumstance.
Generally speaking, we are capable of controlling our minds and our bodies. We chose our behavior consciously, intentionally, and in some circumstances, even subconsciously.
Our experiences throughout sport and life will certainly include some very pleasing and rewarding ones as well as some very uncomfortable and discouraging ones. The question becomes a matter of how we respond to those experiences. We are free to choose our response. We do not have to accept simple knee-jerk reactions.
Because we have the ability to make choices, we must be willing to take responsibility for those choices as well as our actions and experiences throughout life. When we fail to be responsible for our choices, actions and experiences, we allow ourselves to shift the responsibility onto other people or events. That, is the victim mentality.
So, Are You a Victim?
Take a moment to honestly consider the original question, “are you a victim?” If you were watching yourself from the outside, what would your words and actions say about your mentality? Do you exhibit the victim mentality or, does your mentality allow you take responsibility for your choices, actions and experiences?